twice in the past month i’ve been accused of being 38.  first by a 23 year-old boy in a bar.  then by a 55+ year-old woman in a different bar.

then i got accused by another women (in her 30s?) of always being at a bar (one of the one’s previously mentioned, but not the first one) with women who were way too young for me.  the woman in question i was with the night of the accusation was my sister.

which leads to the question of my existence: should i dye my hair.  thus far, i’ve submitted to george clooney’s advice.  george clooney doesn’t dye his hair.

but george clooney is old.  i am 28.  but no one rags george clooney for going to bars with women too young for him.

the women i go to bars with are about a half decade younger than me.  except when i go to bars with women who are a decade (or more, but no one asks) older than me.

but it’s true: i go to bars with women.

that curiosity is explained partially by the fact that i have no male friends to go bars with.  i have male friends. but not to go to bars with.

i also have no women my exact age to go to bars with.  this is because women my age have more sense than to go bars with me.

so i am thinking about dyeing my hair.  blue. and possibly getting a mohawk.  a bright blue mohawk.  then i can go to bars with who i want.